realization

Heidi, in all her wisdom, recommended that I make 20 pieces in a month - to see where I was. She also recommended that I try to copy favorite artists of mine.
I have spent a lot of this month all over the map and feeling profoundly lost. I blamed it on the fact that I was working without a frame and that was a real challenge for me. But I don't think that was it. Rather, I was trying to come up with products - when I realize that what I am really getting at is what matters to me. For example - I began (even in July) to use different materials. I wanted to mimic Jessica Stockholder or Sarah Sze ( just a bit). But I found that I have a very strong reaction to materials - that I am repelled by a lot of what those 2 artists use. Instead, I am magnetized to cloth or soft paper, even canvas. In the last few days I spent hours doing hand embroidery. It matters to me that the line be thread, not pencil or paint.I love how quirky it looks, but also how it feels. I hadn't realized until now how significant that is for me.